Author: Andrei Afanasyev

I have given up all attempts and just watch what’s happening: she keeps up our relationship. It’s either she lends me some money, or there’s some problem, or she asks me to go to the concert together and so on. And I just don’t get it: either she doesn’t give a shit about me or what? And how do I fix our relationship?

The problem is in you! She is the one who is ready for a “closer” relationship. You just can’t fight it... Not even fight but just take a detached view at your relationship. It’s not easy for her at all. I call such a relationship “to get into a routine”. Your problem and the problem of the most guys who has been into pick-upping for years is not that the girls are so inflexible but that YOU and SHE are not willing to change your life principles. It’s easy to break it just like overcoming your complexes – with one decisive deed. 

Let’s analyze a relationship and build up a panoramic picture. You meet a new girl. It will depend on YOU and HER during your first few dates what this meeting turns into. Did you notice how you have put yourself toward her? You are a friend first of all! No, you didn’t need anything at that moment. But the stability of your behavior puts a certain imprint at you both. There appears a stamp in your relationship. You probably noticed that if you meet a funny guy at the parties who always makes jokes and puts everybody in high spirits the same would be expected from him every time. It’s very hard to break such an attitude because you also start thinking of yourself as of a “funny guy”.

This is theory. Here’s a little more practice tested by electronics for the beginners. You have to make a good impression in the first 15 seconds. Further on, if you seek a normal full-fledged relationship with a girl including sex, walking in the moonlight, crying on the shoulder, kissing in the darkness, love declarations then you have to put yourself in a proper way. For example: you pick-up a girl, get her phone number and tell her that you will call her soon. You call her in 5-7 days. And you suggest (not invite!!!) that you meet. She doesn’t want to? Well, nevermind. You will call her in a week once again if she doesn’t set the timing herself. If you manage to talk her into it you’ll have to sweat, i.e. work for your future which will then work for you and you don’t have to do anything extraordinary. I won’t explain how you should behave. I’m sick of repeating it. But if you listen spellbound to what she says, follow her whims and if you don’t demonstrate your own (it’s desirable that it should be somewhat unusual) point of view on many things you will stay friends with her.

If you show yourself like a real man (not a boy) you will have nothing to do at the next dates. At her “tough” rating you are already tough. You are not the one to be trifled with and she has to respect you. Now you can behave and do whatever you like: follow her whims from time to time, agree with what she says...

Here we have built up a certain model. Most of the pick-up gurus follow it. In brief: meeting, 15 seconds to make an impression, a date to put yourself in a proper way, reaping the fruits of your labor, everyday routine.

As for your first question did you understand the answer? Your relationship got into a routine already. The funniest thing is that you both want something else. Do you know what a new behavior generator is? Go forward!

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