Author: Alex Stepanov

What’s the main difference between a “one night” and a “long-term” approach? Is it in ecology of relationships? Well, it should be everywhere. However I will leave this question to those who are interested and pass on to a more vital problem: “Building a relationship.”

Let me first give as an example the model of a relationship by Leslie Cameron-Bendler:

1. Meeting. // That’s clear.

2. Getting used to each other. // At this stage people learn a lot about each other’s habits, preferences, peculiarities. Your partner is the whole world which is so exciting to be cognized! This stage is filled with the most pleasant emotions. The state of being in love and locking oneself on the partner is very typical.

3. Expectation. // “Well, he knows everything I like. He loves me and all my life he will be doing something for me...” Familiar, isn’t it? A good deal of claims as if you owe something to her...

4. Disappointment. // A logical conclusion of expectation. It comes sooner or later...

5. Edge/Breaking up. // It’s also quite natural, isn’t it?

So the secret of a long mutually pleasant relationship is simple – you have to stay at “getting used” stage all the time. It sounds easy. Break the stamps, push and pull her, make small fights as preventive measures. On the other hand, if you go too far it’s no good either: if you are constantly fighting why the hell do you need to stay together! It’s been proved that a 3 or 2 days shock per month is enough to keep her constantly at the stage of getting used to you. You will be in love all the time. Cool, isn’t it?  The only thing left is to teach her do the same with you and the people will envy you till the end of your days – your love will last long and happily.

Some more stuff in addition to the pick-up for “one night”. From my recent practice: I met a girl, got her phone number, took her for a walk, had sex with her and then disappeared. I returned in about a couple of weeks, showed her a quality stamp breaking, had sex with her again, the girl got a crush on me, told me she loved me. The farther we go the more we get. I stabilize our relationship for a moment, start visiting her more often but at the same time I don’t let her get used to me with the help of various unexpected deeds (I come to her in the middle of the night with flowers, I make her do me a blow job in the taxi or I make up something else). But I was going to make a “one night” acquaintance with her... So it makes me wonder where you, guys, make a fatal mistake which leads you to breaking up with the girl for “one night” who was appreciated as a good one only later.

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