As I see it, it all comes of a huge diffidence and shyness when meeting with a stranger.

This is a typical complex. And it’s met pretty often. It’s not as difficult to fight down as it might seem. You just have to want to get rid of it!

You know, some guys say that they can’t even come up to a girl.

Let me describe it.

- There I saw her. She was simply stunning! Her shapes were breath-taking... Shall I come up to her or not? The desire is overwhelming. What should I do??? What on earth am I supposed to say??? What if she turns me down? (Your pressure goes high, your heart beats faster and you are sweating like a dog). But finally you can’t resist the temptation and your shaking legs bring you up to her. The tension is so great. You are approaching her, you are opening your mouth and you feel your tongue stuck to palate. A wild grimace distort your face, you stammer something pathetically. The patient’s condition is grave. J Remember, the main thing here is your attitude!

It costs me nothing!

It does! And if it didn’t you wouldn’t have been so scared!  Do you know the best way to come up to her? Pretend she’s just a telegraph-post. Nothing more. You are just passing it by. You can stop and concentrate on it but you always remember that there are thousands of them on your way.  And you should always be ready to be turned down. You can’t always avoid it. You just need to understand that it happens and there’s nothing horrible about it.

But here you are, standing right beside her and you get stuck. You can’t think of a single thing to say to her!

This is fear. By your scale of values you are about to do a frightful thing! At the moment of uttering your first phrase you reach the peak. The adrenaline fills your blood, you are at the point of ecstasy… J Don’t be afraid of it, enjoy the first phase of your acquaintance! Take it as a small battle of looks, words and gestures. You attack and she defends. In most cases it’s no more than a game. Her defense is superficial and her redoubts are paper-thin.  She builds them only for the sake of testing you. And you are the one to break them!

What if I’m not alone? What if my friends are watching me?

Remember once and for all: friends either help or go to hell. I don’t have anything against them. But if they begin boasting of their own victories or laughing at you – send them to hell. If they can do better, let them show it to you or teach you how to do it! Can they do that? If they can’t let them shut up! This should be your rule! Either you defend yourself, or they will laugh at you for the rest of your life.

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