D: It all depends on a man’s status! Let me give an example. I know a guy who’s really tough but not as regards to money, he can station himself on a higher level. There’s nothing special about his appearance: he’s short and thin. But the way he pick-ups girls is something mystical. His ways are brutal but somehow they work. As for me, I need only to razz at the girls mildly and they turn into furies. By virtue of my, say, good breeding I can joke with them no longer. So as they say your impudence is your second happiness. You are lucky to be cheeky. I know I’m not like that and I can’t make myself be that on purpose. Banal as it may sound but my CONSCIENCE wouldn’t let me be that.

You have mixed in quite a lot of stuff. Let’s examine the problem in detail.

1) Some guys are more successful in pick-upping girls than you are. This is because:

a) This somebody is more physically attractive than you are (an uncommon case).

b) This happy someone uses a more successful strategy than you do (a more wide-spread variant).

Let’s put aside the question of physical attractiveness because it can be significant only on the first stage of your acquaintance – I assure you.  A man needn’t be handsome, he only has to be self-confident.

It’s more complicated concerning the strategy. I once compared (just like you do now) my behavior with that of the ladies’ men and I came to a conclusion that, as a matter of fact, they treat all their women the same way as I treat those who I never even regard as my possible sexual partners. I mean, not very attractive girls.

So, we have come to a conclusion that there exists a certain strategy (including its variations) attracting the majority of women. At that, strange as it may seem, this is the strategy condemned as the most impudent and cynical by the same women majority and some men dissatisfied with their life.

You needn’t be confused by such a gap existing between the real state of things and its conception in the eyes of society. It’s quite natural. For instance, the girls have been asked repeatedly in our forum: what a guy should do not to become just a friend. None of the girls replied. More than that, none of them analyzed the situation, which tends to be rather typical in such cases. Why? The reason is evident – she would have had no other choice than to confess that you became a friend to her because you had used the strategy which is considered by most of the women (and some men) the most humane, respecting women’s rights for self-determination and so on, and so forth. She would have had to admit at the same time that you had to grab her by the ass, feel her under the skirt and talk about sex with her. Of course, none of them would have the guts to confess that.  However, this is the strategy they would adequately respond to. And this is, I will repeat myself, a normal thing.

Try to understand it – the strategy cannot be valued at the point of view of morals. It can be either successful or a complete flop. And here we are approaching problem number 2:

2) You can’t apply the successful strategy because your CONSCIENCE doesn’t let you do that.

Let’s make out the problem with your conscience. What’s a conscience? In the given context conscience is an obstacle hindering you to apply a successful strategy at meeting women – do I get it right? I suppose you had the same thoughts about it. For all that you never tried to get rid of it. Well, what’s that good thing that your conscience gives to you if you still stick to it? You may not reply, I went through the same thing and I know the answers to the questions pretty well. 

Conscience in this case is something that gives you the feeling that you are somewhat better than an ordinary ladies’ man. It’s like: “He’s a total cad, how dare he do what he does? And the girls put up with him only because… well, they just put up with him, and I’m better than him! I will follow my conscience and the girls will respect me”. Indeed. They will respect you but they’ll never go to bed with you. And you will respect yourself. Until some time.

So then the question is settled – everyone’s pleased with himself. You feel that you are better than the ladies’ man because he’s a cad and a son of a bitch and he treats the girls without respect. The “cad” feels so much tougher than the “flabby guy” who talks rot about women’s rights for self-determination, because he’s the one who has all the girls anyway. The girls feel fine because they have both somebody to spend a night with and someone to pour out their hearts to. Besides, you never leave your hope that sooner or later you’ll meet a girl who will appreciate you for what you are. She will tease you for a while and then she’ll sleep with you; and then you will live a long and happy life together and die the same day, - just like good-old Alex Green wrote. So, guys, don’t you recognize yourselves in these lines? I’m more than certain that half of the inactive male population thinks like this.

So what’s the problem? Why do you feel uneasy looking at just another kissing couple?  What are you thinking about when you go to bed?

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