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Letter to the Girl from Dating Site
A Letter to the Girl from Dating Site
Writing a letter to the girl from Dating site.
Some of you probably tried your luck in finding a woman in
the Internet Dating resources. Somebody did find: perhaps, not quite what they
were searching for. Some were so lucky as to be replied tenderly ďOh, f## off
you jerk!Ē or ďMan, Iím so damn tired of you, guys!Ē But the really LUCKY were
those who managed to let her do you a great favor to pay her bill in a
luxurious restaurant. Tough, isnít it? But what about a mad passion blazing up
after your eyes meet at your first date; how about astounding sex exciting even
your neighbors and 8 year old kids in the middle of the night? Nothing of the kind!
Why? Well, maybe itís because you still donít have a clear idea WHY women
publish their ads in the Internet Dating sites and what at all you need to
write her about. Letís begin. Why donít we start from what you SHOULDNíT do? So
then, hereís an investigation.
Investigation, part I Ė preparation.
Preparation: On May 9, 2002 three false profiles were
placed at dating site. Real model-girlsí photos were taken as a basis from the modelís
project. Three normal email accounts were registered for those virtual
beauties. The first few letters were received in 10 (!!!) minutes after
registration. All in all I examined and analyzed more than 450 letters from men
craving for making an acquaintance through the Internet.
Investigation, part II Ė analytics.
Without taking into the account about 30 scam letters from
various massage salons, model and escort-agencies, I looked through quite a
number of letters. Afterwards I meditated on the question ďWhatís the hell?Ē
and on the amount of absolute crap. If I had been a woman I would have never replied
to you, guys! I give you my word. Such a gene-fund should be killed in the bud.
Only a daily dose of 10 strong pills for your brain during the next two years
could do you good, and a thoughtful smoking of this site together with all its
banners. In general I liked only 1 (ONE) letter. All the rest is written below:
The biggest, the chief and the dumbest mistake of the 99.9%
of all men (students and pensioners) consisted in the most banal thing. Namely,
they were transferring the real life traditions into the web world. In short,
the ďCHOOSE MEĒ inscription runs all through their letters in bold type 72 print.
Hi! My name is (Name). Iím 31 y.o. Iím fun loving,
sociable but somehow still alone. Not quite alone, I got good friends but still
I need something more. I work for an Aviation company which lets some of my
dreams come true. I suggest that we meet.
Iím 27, never married, never been instituted criminal
proceeding against, never took part. Generally Iím a fun loving person, kind,
gentle and terribly cheerful. Write for more details.
Here, I decided to write you. I really donít know what
to say. About myself: Iím 20. I study at the University. I tried quite a lot of
things and occupations (the only thing I have never tried is smoking; but Iím
not willing to start. Although itís sometimes confusing Ė when everybodyís
standing and smoking and you are the only who isnít. Joke.) I got lots of
interests; some of them change from time to time.
Me: age 36, height 187, physically attractive, a 100%
financially secure, up to my ears in work however I like to have fun. This is
brief, I hate monologues.
Hi there, I saw your ad and I liked it. I would really
like to meet you. My name is (name), not married, no children, age 26, height
193, donít smoke. I live in Moscow in (region) together with my parents and brother. Iím a University
graduate. I study accounting and English at present. I prefer rock music.
Ridiculous! I assure you, such letters make up an
overwhelming majority. Just like a good joke runs ďyou should stand out for
your HEAD, your HEAD, man!Ē By the way, some men realize that and prefer to
stand out. Letís see.
We all know that a jerking off programmer in the 9th
generation with the total weight of 35 kilos and a height of 151 sm would never
get himself a supermodel. Unless he is a Microsoft owner or has another finger
social status (Note: fingers in this article are supposed to unite all kinds
of social, financial and other pyramids). What do our men do? Oh, our men
300 Kb photos are being sent where you have to look for the guy with help of
a magnifier but then you can see a cool car, a motorcycle, a 10 kilo fish,
Paris cathedral of some mother, etc., etc., etc. The hidden goal of such a
photo masterpiece is to raise the status of its original. The obvious aim is
show himself. By the way, such photos are also in the majority.
We have gone through all more or less standard variants,
here comes laughing through tears. What else do the inventors pamper beautiful
girls with? Oh, man, what does sperm-toxicosis not prompt to the pale youths
with burning gazes! Letís go:
The meaning comes to the meta-message: ďI donít feel like
writing anything really, you can, like, call me if you want a good bang!Ē On
the whole it looks like a letter of 1-3 lines with a short enumeration of the
guyís name and phone number. Examples:
I (name) 27 y.o. 184-75, not a pervert, physically
attractive, telephone number (****), waiting...
Hi there! Nameís (name). Not too tall, about 170 sm. A
cool guy, an interesting person. If you are interested you are free to reply.
Whatís up, Maria! Letís make friends J. I
hate all those questionnaire pineappleness and orangeness and other banal stuff
so if you write back youíll find out more about me.
Iím 24 y.o. I work in sugar business. No financial
problems. The circle of my interests is wide. I live alone.
My name is (name). If you feel like writing back, drop
me a line. J))
Brevity is a sister of talent but only when it aspires to
one instead of zero. Those who studied some higher maths and ďLogarithmĒ
subject will understand me. Iím eager to say to all the rest that such letters
are deleted. At once. Quickly. The answer to this type of letter is possible if
a really fingerly photo (which is often absent) is attached and only on
condition of utmost boredom caused by the lack of other candidates. Is the hint
The writers of this sort try to make up something funny.
Thanks, dudes, I got an excellent collection of stale humor for the high school
studs. Examples? Stuff such examples! I respect the site. The most decent was
mentioned in the previous paragraph, the thirst from the top (or from the
Some authors try to make an impression with their
intellectuality, mystification, long monologues and other poetry. Yes, this
method does exist and has a right to exist. I approve of it in a way and I
think that itís a good method with one single stipulation: you have to hit the
point otherwise all your work will come to nothing. To impress a woman with a
poem you have to know what kind of person she is. The profile questionnaire level
wonít do. Later, guys, later! If you send a scrupulously selected poem but it
just isnít to the point your efforts will die unnoticed.†††
Certain. I think so...?
The most disgusting thing is a diffident guy. This is total
crap, man. Women love to be guided no matter what bitches they might seem to
us. Women love dominant men who know their own worth. Even if they worth
nothing. I spend half of the course trying to form positive thinking in my
students, especially if it concerns the course on opposite sex communication.
I read your profile and decided to give it a try and,
well, get to know you better.
I would like to apologize at once as Iím not sure if you
are up to a new acquaintance now. However, I will try my luck and then you are
to decide if you want it or not. Iíd really like to meet a person whoíd
understand me and whom I would understand too.
I donít know where this meeting leads us to. Itís
virtual yet but it seems to me that thereís hope. So I made up my mind to write
this. I mean, I really wish that my letter wouldnít get drowned in the heaps of
the other letters.
But Iím not really sure if this Internet dating stuff
works at all?! I have probably made the wrong start.
I saw you on the dating site. You are beautiful. I donít
want to imagine that you already have a boyfriend who must be crazy about you.
A resume: ďShit knows why Iím writing this and what I want
from you but maybe Iíll get the breaks, huh? Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssse!Ē
By the way, such letters are really amusing. In this kind
of literary objects the author (who is at the same time the main character)
would describe in glowing terms within 2-3 screen spaces the whole story of his
life and besides, he would tell you where, with whom, how often and why he
lives. The epic ends up with the narrative about his job and a few banal things
like ďyou are beautifulĒ. Guys, easy! What the hell do you want? Write about
Sudden attack meant to shock!
Thereís another type of men ďworkingĒ according to sudden
attack method! The essence of their offers comes to conception that they are
very non-typical people for our society and culture. By the way, this variant
possesses certain chances for success in the first phase of acquaintance Ė you
will get a reply. Further process requires quite a different level of
pick-upping than you could have used. So... using your ace in the first stage
is an unnecessary squandering. Later. After the correspondence sets in and you
impress the girl finish her off with that! At once. Example:
What do you think of massage? Not just a massage but a
feet massage? What if I make it with my tongue? I can just come to your place,
do it quickly and leave at once. Imagine: a guy comes by, licks and gets lostÖ
how about before your work? J
Some other offers started from innocent cunnilingus and
ended up with golden rain. Perhaps, you will be the lucky one.
Iím fucking shockedÖ
ÖA letter from a seven year old girl. Fantastic! A few more
things that kept me shocked for minimum half an hour. How do you like the idea
of sending another girlís photo? And I will not speak of the guys sending
letters by way of ďcopy pastaĒ Ė a copy to each girl. If you are too lazy to
use your head the girl will be get laid by another. One guy even made a FORWARD
of the letter which had been sent to some other girl. He could have changed the
name at least! There definitely were other cases, like, for instance, some
turkey guy who had sent a letter translated through machine translator Ė that
was a good laugh. Ok, enough of it. Letís make a summary of what should be done
only by scout boys but not by successful pick-uppers! Here is once again the
list of most common mistakes:
- Orthographical and punctuation mistakes. They are a
real piss off.†
- Too short (impersonal enumerative) letter.
- Too detailed letter with a lot of junk stuff.
- Self-confidence based on oneís financial position.
- Dumb humor.
- Diffidence and doubts in oneís abilities.
- Lack of purpose for making an acquaintance.
Ok, thatís enough. Letís set about the yummy stuff Ė it is
how you should make an acquaintance with the girl. If you got me right 99% of
the web male population is either impassibly stupid or they just donít know the
women to the degree a real man should know them. By the way, hereís the letter
I told you about, the one which deserves the first place in the letters rating:
Long had I to peer into the depth of your eyes to find
the answer how such softness and kindheartedness are being combined with the
demand of loyalty from people in one woman Ė but I failed to find it out. Iíd
wish not to give a damn about the connection of the notorious loyalty with
power and just appease myself with an interpretation of a partnerís
reliability. Donít I like commanding women? Iím not talking about it. Am I
afraid of such women? Well, I donít know, but in any case adrenaline floods my
body stirring every cell of it. But it can also happen when a woman is
stunningly beautiful. Until she utters her first word. But even if after her
first word magic doesnít seem to fade away thereís no place for further
cautions about her commanding ways or beauty, thereís only tachycardia of your
deep emotional storms. No, of course, not! She loves cats and loyalty is dogsí disease.
The essence, the basis, the sense is in reliability. Irena, I agree to it that
it would be extremely naïve and foolish to say it after just having seen
your photo that I like you. Especially, together with two of your higher
educations. Let it be the mystics you give yourself up to in literature and
Itís very good, especially, its final part. But letís go
down to my recommendations:
1. Write about where you
Itís banal but necessary. Tell her in one line where you
have found her profile.
2. No compliments.
Just because you can do it in person. She receives those 50
per day into her email box.
3. Why are you writing her?
Point out the aim of your letter in a hidden or evident
4. Write for her.
Collect all available information and write a letter based
on it. Thus you will make up a very individual letter with a striking accuracy.
5. Share her values.
Show it in your letter that all the things that she values
so much are also very important for you. These are being defined at stage 4.
6. A photo Ė later on.
Web etiquette, man! Iím really pleased to receive megabyte avi.
files (!!!) but I wonít be sending my photo to each and every one who writes
me. Only if Iím being asked to. Besides, this will be just another reason for
her to reply. One more important rule for the photos Ė there should be only you
and a neutral background. Thatís it.
7. Make her talk.
Too often the answer to a long letter consists in just one
phrase. Make her talk.
Complicated? Not at all. Examples:
I came across your profile at mheart.ru
Something inside of me asked me to write you and I agreed.
Frankly speaking, such impulses donít call on me very often and I think itís
good that they still remain.
A few words about me: Student, 23 y.o., Leo, fond of life
and perfection. If you need more information and a photo(s) Ė Iíll send as many
as you wish.
I got really interested by your mentioning the energy you
are ready to share with. Is that somehow connected with certain knowledge (Reiki,
Tsigun) or you just love other people. Iíll be looking forward to your reply.
(letter 2, the strategy of joining on the identification
I saw your profile at dating site.
I havenít yet decided why Iím writing this now and what my
further expectations are but I trust my inner impulses. Perhaps, it means something
to me. Did it ever happen to you that you do something quite spontaneously and
then it turns out that this something changes your whole life forever?
I like you, (name), let me be frank with you. You got
something that I value in a woman Ė you are a Leo just like myself. I could
have dwelled upon it forever but I believe we both know pretty well all our
basic character features to leave all commonplaces to the others. As for
supplementary qualities which make us what we are, we can always find out more
about it by phone or other virtual means (ICQ, email).
Let me tell you more about me Ė Iím a male. 23 y.o., a
working student, tall and you can call me big. Iím fond of sports and I
achieved a lot of results in it. Though I am quite successful in all my
aspirations I havenít yet found my Woman who would understand and support me in
all my beginnings.
I hope youíd share my feelings and ask me a few shooting
questions. If you need photos Ė write me, I got enough to send to youJ. Have a nice
(reply) Wow, Iím impressed, Philip!!! Yeah, Iíd really
like to see your photos...† Although I wonít be asking any ďshooting questionsĒ
yet, but I surely will as soon as I see your photo. But I can tell you what Ė
you got me... J
According to stats data Ė you get 3 phone numbers out of 3.
I donít remember the rest of it.
Think, guys! Maybe a new pick-uppers generation is coming?