Author: Mankubus

Let’s talk! Or the method of talking to uninteresting people.

It can often so happen that you have to talk to the people inasmuch interesting as you have to be interested. For instance, you can meet them at a big party. How does the process usually take place? Roaming around. People are coming up to each other looking for the idiot who would be admiring them till the end of the evening. People are arranged so that they give as much as they take from communication or even less than that – people are egoistic. Let me give you a typical example: you come up to someone, exchange a couple of banalities and then you stand dumbly trying to keep the conversation going... then you part unsatisfied with each other. It’s a shame!

What do you do if you want the person and the person doesn’t want you? There are several ways to achieve positive results. I tried to apply each in my life and they all work. Maybe some of my explanations will sound a bit messy but it’s normal – it’s rather hard to convey your kinesthetic experience audially. Of course, there are methods to make them talk with you which are quite different from what I’m going to tell you about. It’s something like: two guys are looking at the girl. One of them says that he is going to take her phone number. The second doesn’t believe him. The first one comes up to the girl, takes out a gun and says: “Common, you bitch, gimmi your f## phone number!” – which is also a method. You can use itJ. But I’d use milder methods. The most efficient would be to use all of them at once! J

Take a sincere interest in your interlocutor.

Sometimes it’s easier to say than to do – there’s a man standing in front of you, well, a man... What’s so interesting about him? But you have to: unluckily, these bastards would feel your falseness at a mile’s distance and all your attempts may come to nothing. But you can avoid it – change yourself, be more flexible. I mean find something that you really like about your interlocutor. It could be anything: starting from his hairdo, ending up with any of his personal qualities. Then you take this feeling and transfer it sincerely on the person you are talking to. Your train of thought should be like this: “How can the person with such a remarkable leather fillet be unpleasant for me?” Do it candidly and interpolate your feelings correctly. You will make it!

Create your energy sphere.

No matter how weird it may sound it’s really simple. I learned it when I studied Karate. This is one of the easiest ways to create the so-called fighting trance. It goes like this: you take a necessary feeling inside yourself – it’s always in you to this or that degree. Then you place it right in the middle of your body. Of course, you do it in your mind. Then you force the feeling. You start thinking more and more emotionally about it. As a result it fills you up to the brim and overflows on to the others. The people around you fall under its influence and feel something similar. Believe me, it works!

Feel like a child.

I will cite an example from my life – I know a girl (she’s actually my friend’s wifeJ) who has succeeded in it. The moment you start talking to her she pours out on you half a ton of her ingeniousness and sincere interest in you. Take a small child – is his behavior offensive? Not at all! He is allowed to do almost everything. Model a child’s behavior and use it. No one would be able to send you off.

Adapt yourself to his breathing.

Breathe with the same depth and the same rhythm as your interlocutor’s. Usually you suffer from pauses in your conversation when you don’t notice your interlocutor’s breathing. This is simple – listen to it.

Mirror his pose.

Conscience and body is a single system. Thus, a body usually reflects a person’s state, excluding the cases when the person tries to get rid of this correlation attending different trainings and courses where he learns how to do it. So if you take the same posture as you interlocutor has taken, subconsciously he will think that your points of view coincide. Be careful in the beginning, some people try to implement the instructions too precisely. You are not supposed to be aping – take a similar pose.

Don’t think of a white monkey.

The Great Konfutsy used to say: “Never think of a white monkey!” – and people would think of it. The same thing is in practice: if you are trying hard to do something, you will surely fail. Let your feelings go, DON’T think of a white monkey and everything will go smoothly. A small excursion to NLP is quite appropriate here – your knowledge is divided into 4 kinds: non-deliberate ignorance; deliberate ignorance; deliberate knowledge and non-deliberate knowledge. You have to try to place any skill into the fourth type so that you could act according to method “God knows how I did it, I never thought about it!”

Conclusions:

Change yourself, be flexible if you want to achieve the most optimal result. Don’t be afraid to experiment and remember that the Universe is a friendly environment full of various resources. You got all necessary things on your way.

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